The Parents concern begins on the first day of life. Their earliest worry is that they are not feeding their newborn enough. From that day on, parent’s fret about their child’s appetite (i.e. they are not getting enough, when to start solids) or that the food they are eating is causing allergies, hyperactivity, or obesity.

The list is so enormous and what makes things worst is when they compare their baby with other babies, whether their own or others.

This preoccupation with eating has caused the family meal to become a battleground over what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat.

It is no surprise that eating disorders are on the rise amongst children. Obesity in the six to eleven year old age group has doubled. Obsession with slimness is causing children as young as nine years old to go on diets. Today’s young children have developed a distorted relationship with food, in part reflecting their parent’s attitudes about food and eating. It is partly the parent’s fault.

So why do parents worry about their child’s eating even though a well-child checkup shows the youngster to be growing normally?

• One reason is that adults frequently eat for the wrong reasons. How many times do we eat because of boredom, depression, happiness, to be socially polite, because it is simply "time to eat", or because our mother made us her famous fudge and we will hurt her feelings if we don’t eat it? All too often we eat for reasons that have nothing to do with hunger. It is therefore little wonder that many parents pass along mixed signals about eating to their children. It is the parents fault thus to correct this is to correct the parents first.
• Children eat when they are hungry, and they are hungry when they are growing. The hungry newborn definitely knows this! When you double your weight in the first five to six months and triple it in the first year, you need a lot of calories! Parents become accustomed to their child’s great appetite, but then the growth rate abruptly slows. Between 1 and 5 years of age most children normally gain only 2 to 3 pounds per year. Because they’re not growing as fast, they need fewer calories.
• Children have a remarkable inborn mechanism that lets them know how much food and which types of food they need for normal growth and development. The aim is to let their “natural appetite” come to the surface and not to make the child eat when they are not hungry. Do not force feed a child. Children regulate their calories from day to day. Many times the child’s lack of appetite turns out to be a control issue. Don’t make it so as parents but rather, make it an enjoyable moment. A gathering of the family. If food and eating has become is a control issue, the child will sometimes not eat just to gain some control over their lives or worst control the parents. This is especially true during the toddler years when a child learns to say "no", and during adolescence when the youngster wants to develop into a separate, independent person. Food should not be used as a power struggle between
  child and parent during these times. This is important because it also during mealtime that the family gets together.
• Parents should never be resentful that the child does not want to eat any of the delicious food that took hours to prepare. It’s not that your youngster does not like your cooking- it’s just they were not hungry at the time! Teach your child to separate their love for you from their food selections. At times mothers consider it insulting when a child expresses their own opinion of their food preferences or is fed up of a type of food mother has been preparing. I know this first hand when my son told his mom that he was tired of the same sandwiches that she was preparing for his school lunch. I smiled when my wife reacted. I told her that is a healthy expression.
• Today’s parents should know that their children will not "starve to death" as long as they receive a quality diet. When children are left to their own, they self-regulate and grow up to be normal-weight adults. Pressing them to eat can lead to eating disorders. Either the child will eat just to avoid confrontation with their parents and become obese, or not eat, even when they are hungry, and grow up to be anorexic. Remember that kids eat as much as they need for normal growth and daily energy. Forced feedings interfere with the pleasures of eating and may actually cause food avoidance. To the child, it is almost a game. The more pressure put on them (by offering punishments or rewards) the more resistance they put. It may seem contrary to the way we were raised by our parents, but urging children to eat is not only unnecessary but may even be harmful. This is where you pediatrician comes in. The pediatrician should show you during your child’s regular well visits the growth chart and show you whether your child is on tract or not. To assure you as the parents that your child’s growth is all right or measures has to be undertaken if not so.

For your comments and suggestions, write me at ACI Pediatrics/ Seven Hills Pediatrics, 2545 S. Bruce St. Suite 8-10, Las Vegas, Nevada, 89169, (702) 733-0744